Unexpected Parenthood

I knew that once I became a parent a lot would chance, but I still find times when I say or do things that seem so silly and not what I would have ever thought I would say or do.

One afternoon Zoë was helping me hang cloths and that just means playing with hangers.  She kept flinging wire hangers around and I was worried she would hurt herself not thinking I said:  "No more wire hangers"  Then we stopped hanging cloths and went and played.

I have to hide when I eat unless I want to share.

I get woken up each morning to someone needing me to do something for them.  Did I mention I am not a morning person.

"Get back here, supervised crayon use only"

"No dancing when drinking from your big girl cup"

"Are you pooping?"

"No Pooping on the floor!"

"Please quit eating dirt"

When something is really annoying or I don't want her to have it anymore I say:  "Its Broken or All Gone"  This is still working but I fear my days are numbered.

Hide annoying books and toys then say: "I am rotating her collection."

I get assaulted daily and most days multiple times.  Head butted, shirt pulled down, books flung in my face.  Sometimes even bitten, hit, pinched, and kicked.  Instead of pressing charges I sing through the pain.  If I make it to 3 without a broken nose I will consider myself very lucky.

I also sing when I get really frustrated.

Sometimes I feel bad about my bare undecorated house so I will put out a table runner, then 5 seconds later Zoë pulls it off.  Then I put it away again.

Before becoming a Mom I knew I would speak a lot of "Bathroom" talk, but working on potty training it has become a little crazy.  Between bathroom talk and saying: "NO ma-am" I don't think I say much else.

What was the definition of insanity again, doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.  So does that mean I am insane or my toddler is insane.

What crazy things do you say and do as a parent?  Please it will make me feel better.

All the crazy is so worth it